neuroticalone

Error 410: This blog has moved.

2005-06-18T16:28:09Z

Okay so Error 410 is actually reserved for sites that leave without supplying a forwarding address, but who's counting?

Well as I mentioned previously, LJ sucks and I wanted more control over my blog. Not to mention I wanted Elaine to be able to write posts and keep everyone up to date on day to day affairs (which I'm horrible at).

So, I present to you: A Tale of Three.

Please stop by and leave a comment somewhere so I know you're out there. :c) I'm going to look into a way of integrating the new site with LJ in some fashion since I know many of you are bound to your Friends List here.

Otherwise, I hope all of you are doing well!

James
EDIT 09/24/2005: Realized the address was no long quite valid. If you guys still go here, please update your bookmark to the link above. :c)

A Friend's Band

2005-06-14T16:18:15Z

Hey, sorry I haven't been around much. I've been working the past couple of weeks to build a new blog site for myself and Elaine since I really just don't like the constrains of LJ. It's almost ready so I'll post the link in the next day or two.

However, before then, I'd like to have you all check out this band. They're called Scarecrow Messiah and they're based in WA. In fact, two of the members went to school with me (and quite possibly you too).

You can listen to two of their songs here.
And you can download three more songs from here.

It's pretty good stuff, especially considering it was self-recorded and produced.

Do let me know what you think. :c)

Kidneythieves

2005-06-01T14:43:56Z

Here's another group worth checking out. Kidneythieves.

You can also download one of their music videos here: Zerospace.

Let me know what you think. :c)

Jakalope

2005-05-27T22:06:08Z

Oh yeah, and everyone go check out www.jakalope.net and let me know what you think. You can stream 2 of their music videos from the site as well as the whole album.

Kitty Attack

2005-05-27T21:57:29Z

Not much of an update, but while elaine's parents were out this past week, we got to use their shiny new camera a fair amount. Can you guess what we took pictures of?

ID My Ass

2005-05-04T00:34:34Z

*beats head on desk*

So have any of you heard of Intelligent Design? It's supposed to be an alternate theory for the creation of the universe... as opposed to evolution. The idea is that the universe is too complex for it to have just been created out of thin air, that some greater being must have designed the universe. It's a growing movement that has even made its way into some of our children's schools. Some schools, like the Dover, Penn. school mentioned in the article below have actually added Intelligent Design to the school's curriculum along side Evolution studies.

So basically Creationists have found their back door.

Now I could easily go into how silly I think it is that just because we humans do not fully yet understand the universe, we should take that as evidence of a higher power ie. a god.

But I won't. I'll let the 3000 comments that follow the post on Slashdot do that for me. You really should read some of them, many of the arguments are well founded, a rarity for slashdot discussions.

http://science.slashdot.org/science/05/05/02/1059247.shtml?tid=146&tid=191&tid=14

Also if you aren't familiar with Intelligent Design, make sure you follow the link in that article summary.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts :c).

On Subjective Purity

2005-05-03T02:10:33Z

Well I saw a couple people doing a purity test and I just had to try my hand at it. Needless to say I got 42% total purity (a sign of the new movie that is now out?). Well it's good to know I've gotten my 58% out of life already. Not bad for 23. Still got a ways to go though. :c)

sunspots

2005-04-26T16:07:21Z

Time to inflict another song upon you. This one, in spite of the overzealous use of a water pot boiling effect, is pretty fun. It has some definite parallels to The Downword Spiral in theme and lyrical content, and fits nicely in between two heavier songs on the album. Also one of the better uses of the cliche "staring at the sun" theme.

But then again, it's NIN, so of course I'd say that.

Nine Inch Nails - Sunspots
Hear - Lyrics

sunspots cast a glare in my eyes
sometimes i forget i'm alive
i feel it coming and i've gotta get out of it's way
i hear it calling and i come 'cause I can't disobey
i should not listen and i shouldn't believe but i do
yes i do

she turns me on
she makes it real
i have to to apologize
for the way i feel

my life it seems has taken a turn
why in the name of god would i ever want to return
peel off our skin we're gonna burn what we were to the ground
fuck in the fire and we'll spread all the ashes around
i wanna kill away the rest of what's left
and i do
yes i do

she turns me on
she makes it real
i have to to apologize
for the way i feel

and nothing can stop me now
there is nothing to fear
and everything that ever was
is inside of here

woah woah whoa
inside us here

now i just stare into the sun
and i see everything i've done
i think i could have been someone
but i can't stop what has begun
when everything is said and done
and there is no place left to run
i think i used to be someone
now i just stare into the sun

every day

2005-04-26T02:45:00Z

It's been awhile. I guess we all go through this at one point or another. I haven't been "busy" I haven't had "other things to do" or that take "priority". I have sat here, in this spot since my last entry. Comatose.

I'm not really better yet, but since the new NIN album is coming out, well, I had to share it with someone. :c)

Interestingly enough, my favorite song off the new album, fits oh too well.

Nine Inch Nails - Every Day Is Exactly The Same
Hear - Lyrics

I believe I can see the future
Because I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
Then again, that might have been a dream

I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I’ve been told
I really don’t want them to come around
Oh, no.

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I’m happy here
Sometimes, yeah, I still pretend
I can’t remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end.

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

(spoken)
I’m writing on a little piece of paper
I’m hoping someday you might find
Well, I’ll hide it behind something
They won’t look behind

I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don’t know, I don’t know,
What else I can do…

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

Living in Oblivion

2005-03-03T18:01:07Z

I have words to say, but I'm afraid to say them. I have work to do, but I can't bring myself to do it. I have people to thank, but they're too far away. I need to let go, but not today.

neuroticalone @ 2005-01-31T09:56:00

2005-01-31T14:54:31Z

Last day of January and I still have nothing to say... or maybe I have a lot to say and just can't decide how to say it.

Muse - Time Is Running Out

2005-01-20T01:12:13Z

A great song from one of the best bands of our generation. The lyrics have been stuck in my head the past couple of days, maybe this will get them out.

Muse - Time Is Running Out
Hear - Lyrics

I think I'm drowning
asphyxiating
I wanna break the spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

you will be the death of me
yeah you will be the death of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
but I'm restricted
I tried to give you up
but I'm addicted

now that you know I'm trapped
sense of elation
you'll never dream of breaking this fixation

you will squeeze the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out
how did it come to this

you will suck the life out of me

bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

our time is running out
and our time is running out
you can't push it underground
we can't stop it screaming out

how did it come to this

Welcome to RadioAardvark.

2005-01-19T19:01:29Z

Okay I've got it totally up and running now. RadioAardvark is an internet radio station (2 actually) running off my home server. You can reach it via the link below, or on the side bar under Links. This works best in WinAmp but also works in Windows Media Player. There are two stations, the Standard Mix which picks songs from entire albums and the Favorites Mix which is a selection of hit songs and otherwise particularly good ones. Each station also has a LoFi and HiFi channel, in case your bandwidth is lacking.

RadioAardvark Stations

Please leave me a comment with your thoughts/performance/suggestions.

Thanks!

IT'S SNOWING!

2005-01-19T17:14:02Z

Well, all of you over in Seattle are probably like... "yeah yeah, whatever, move on" but it is actually snowing outside my window right now. The difference between this and the one other time back in December is that this is sticking... Actually really well. Hmmm... and Elaine is far away at work... I hope they don't shut the trains down before she comes home! Eek!

Hmmm... there's some neighborhood kids... I think I should throw a snowball at them...

I need a volunteer.

2005-01-18T18:09:24Z

Okay I've got some stuff to do for now, but I need a volunteer to try the link below and tell me if it works. More specifically, if it works in Windows Media Player. It works in WinAmp for me, but my WMP is a little messed up right now.

RadioAardvark

EDIT: So you can play the radio in WMP if you manually open the URL. Anyone have any insight on how to get PLS files to play in WMP?

EDIT2: Ah ha! I think I've got it working now. Try the link above and let me know if it works for you.

TEST

2005-01-18T18:01:20Z

TEST

2 for 1 Mondays!

2005-01-17T17:44:30Z

That's right, you get two songs today, aren't you just lucky! I guess I'm just feeling a little overzealous that my server didn't have any other damage. So here you go:

Breaking Benjamin - Saturate
Hear - Lyrics

do you know that i could never leave you?
and you know i could never beat you?
and if i, if i could never find you nevermind, i would not forget you.
can i stay alive forever?
can i stay alive forever?
can i stay alive forever?
forever.

can i feel a chemical reaction?
because i feel a hideous
attraction could we share a poison apple?
could it be maniacal and awful?
can i stay alive forever?
can i stay alive forever?
can i stay alive forever?
forever. forever
stay alive forever
forever
stay alive forever
stay alive forever
stay alive forever
stay alive forever
stay alive forever

Eisbrecher - Frage
Hear - Lyrics

Give me your smile
with tears in your face
Lead me out
of the dark into the light
You let me feel your warmth
You touch me intimately
You look behind my mask
You get under my skin
Tell me —

Do you see me – do you feel me
Where do you live – do you understand
What are you looking for

Why do you love me
Why do you lie in my arms
Come on, say it already
Why do you love me
Why do you remain on my side
Come on, tell me
why don't you go

Close your eyes
Tell me what you feel
I have no more fear
when I know
that you're leading me
You cover me up
tenderly with yourself
without a sound
You bury yourself deep within me
You get under my skin

Why do you love me
Why do you lie in my arms
Come on, say it already
Why do you love me
Why do you remain on my side
Come on, tell me

Why you still love me
now like on the first day
Why you forgive of all my sins
Why you still understand me
I know that you still
believe in me
I don't know why you still trust me
Tell me why you don't go

Say why you love me
Why do you still believe in me
Say why you need me

RESUME NORMAL OPERATIONS.

2005-01-17T16:48:29Z

Well server is back up again. The CPU fan was a pain to put on, but they usually are. It's actually quite a bit quieter than the old one, so that'll make Elaine happy. :c) Well I need to finish getting my gear in order to ship back to NG. I'll put a new song of the day up in a little bit to celebrate.

Council of Three

2005-01-16T05:59:13Z

Since my server is down I will just post this... still in progress:

three blank faces divide and wrap around my sanity, pulling strings I never had before. walk a fine line, topple quick and brace for the fall. I crash and I tumble and I drink this in, this life, my ambrosia, your blood. life, entwining pain with self righteous hatred, rushing through to meet my end. surrendering this experience to earn my final peace.

three figures over me, telling me lie still. when one has fallen so low, the night leaves you be, rest forever cold. satisfaction eludes my forced attempt at caring. can I drown in this sea of bitter apathy? will you lie when I'm gone? narcissism comes silently to my aid. my soul betrayed me long before I knew your name.

three and golden. crimson sky beneath and my shadow descends. frighten them away. just get away. looking to the mirror he beckons me come closer, closer. mesmerized and afraid, follow him down. find your cure in me. find your life in me. descend this sky of blood and meet me at the bottom. meet me in the end.

what's behind these faces? grim desire, failed hope, silent resignation?
which holds the hidden virtue, these masks I cannot read
I never would have hurt you if I'd known how frail this world had made you.
I never would have given in and you would never bleed

GODDAMMITGODDAMN!

2005-01-14T07:18:36Z

Ugh 2am... about to go to bed and pop. My server goes down. Godfrickentohellbastard! AHFkshlfkh. Looks like my cpu fan is toast, sounds like the damned ball bearing is busted. Ugh.. I hope I have another one in one of these boxes.

So guess what I'm doing tomorrow?

*grumble grumbe*

ugh.

*shakes fist at heavens*

Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome

2005-01-13T21:04:41Z

Here's an older song that I recently rediscovered. Been playing it a lot, so now you can hear it too. :c)

Seven Mary Three - Cumbersome
Hear - Lyrics

she calls me Goliath and I wear the David mask
I guess the stones are coming too fast for her now
you know I'd like to believe this nervousness will pass
all the stones that are thrown are building up a wall
I have become cumbersome to this world
I have become cumbersome to my girl

I'd like to believe we could reconcile the past
resurrect those bridges with an ancient glance
but my old stone face can't seem to break her down
she remembers bridges, burns them to the ground

I have become cumbersome to this world
I have become cumbersome to this girl

too heavy too light, too black or too white,
too wrong or too right, today or tonight cumbersome
too rich too poor, she's wanting me less,
and I'm wanting her more the bitter taste is cumbersome

there is a balance between two worlds
one with an arrow and a cross
regardless of the balance life has become cumbersome

Status

2005-01-13T20:52:43Z

My apologies to all of those people I didn't see while I was in Seattle, which is pretty much everyone. When I got to my mother's house, I just shut off and didn't wake up until almost New Years. It was quite pleasant though, getting to see the family.

Elaine is still working her tail off, she seems to be taking well. If anything I think I take it worse than her, I miss her a lot during the day.

Oh! And I quit work. Many reasons, too many to put here, but after 4 years at Northrop Grumman, I am now done. I am going to sign on with a contracting company to do some work here and there, but otherwise I am looking at going back to school. I've decided I want to focus more on programming instead of system engineering.

Delenn, our new-ish kitty is doing great. She's as much a spaz as ever. She hated... no despised... no loathed.. yes loathed the plane trips to and from Seattle. Thankfully as soon as she was there she forgave and began her usual routine of terrorizing the entire house. We've discovered she likes laser pointers, that's a fun one.

Hmmm what else... I dunno. I can't think of anything else, I think I'm gonna go back to my world of warcraft.

TRANSMISSION RECEIVED

2005-01-13T16:57:37Z

Intermission Is Over. Please Return To Your Seats.

Thought of the Day

2004-12-21T20:03:20Z

Any downward spiral becomes an orbit, with the right amount of force or reservation.

Incoming

2004-12-20T04:03:16Z

So Elaine and I are flying back to covington tomorrow for a whole two weeks. I can't wait. There are so many people I want to see, not to mention family.

I've spent the past 48 hours with my head in FruityLoops. If you don't know what that is be thankful (no it's not cereal). We're recording a new song to give out to the family for xmas. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom of the Opera. The music has gone well, but the vocal recording hasn't gone quite so good. We basically just decided to break and try again in the morning. Ugh if it isn't one thing it's another. Elaine's got a such a beautiful voice though, so I really don't mind all the extra takes. ;c)

Well, better hit the hay, busy day tomorrow.

Oh and Delenn says hi.